People

Nicole Louise Page - Boss
Nikki claims not to drink much but falls over a lot.  She likes cleaning, roast dinners and drowning kittens.  She is completely imaginary.

Daniel Sullivan -  KITCHEN BINT​
Dan has worked for us since he was 7 years old.  He started at the top and worked his way down to Head Chef.  He loves terrible tattoos, red onions and 2.30pm. 

Fish

Clearly the brains behind the operation despite the fact that we've got through about 12 of them in the last month.

Other disturbed individuals -

Darren, Helen, Mattie, Becky, Natasha, Shannon, Sophie, Nettie, Max, Hannah, Mary, Jamie, Theoline
  - all of whom have ASBOs and some of whom can write.

A horse walks into a bar................................